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Being a new vegetarian can sometimes cause some people to be overzealous in their new way of eating. In their zest with their new knowledge, they can come across as being rude without even knowing it. This Factoid is about being excited without being rude: vegetarian etiquette.
This is mainly for new vegetarians but some long-time vegetarians sometimes forget their etiquette. As a new vegetarian you are excited about everything you learned. Every new book you read about health and changing your diet seemed to address and answer all of your health questions about why you might feel so bad every day. It is exciting to actually read stories about others who have the same health problems you do and exciting to read that simply changing your diet can help you feel better. When you change your diet and actually feel better, you want to tell everyone around you. At first that is fine. But if you’re not careful, it can turn into a sermon.
You might get invited to a dinner or party and as a vegetarian you might be concerned if there will be anything you can eat. Many times a host of a dinner or party will wonder if anyone invited is a vegetarian. If asked, don’t be bashful about saying yes-you-are, and then leave it at that. That is not an opening for you to preach about the values of a vegetarian diet.
The worst thing you can do is to push your newfound knowledge on others just because they enjoy eating meat. If you’re invited to lunch and your friend is eating a hamburger, it is very rude to sit there and tell your friend all about the history of that hamburger and feedlot conditions. It will not only be rude but also sounds disgusting--while they're eating. You could very well lose a friend because of that; at least this friend won’t be inviting you to lunch again.
Once you start eating this new way, and you really do start feeling better than you thought possible, you will want to tell everyone. I have found it best not to say anything unless asked. I had a friend who was always complaining of a stomachache. He ate the typical American diet. I mentioned it could be what he ate that caused his pain and left it at that. If he wanted my opinion further, he would have asked me. Let others ask, and if they are really interested in the reasons you changed your diet, explain it to them.
Everyone is different. Some people are very healthy eating a meat-based diet, and you need to be careful whom you talk down to just because they eat meat. Another friend of mine who eats nothing but meat is very healthy. There are differences from the norm: the meat he eats isn’t the feedlot store-bought meat, and he doesn’t eat much processed or junk food. If I were to even consider telling him he should switch to a vegetarian diet, he could easily make me look foolish. All he would have to do is challenge me to a 10-mile run to see who would finish first. I probably couldn’t even finish the race, since I don’t run. He runs 10 miles every day and is also 15 years older than I am; yet he eats a diet consisting of mainly red meat. So think twice before telling someone they are unhealthy because they eat a meat-based diet.
Continue learning about health and healing through diet without forcing it on others. If someone asks you for your help or opinions, you will be ready. It is much more calming to not concern yourself with other peoples' diets, unless they are a family member or a loved one whose health you worry about. You can discuss and even debate with someone who is interested, but try not to preach to someone who is happy with how he or she feels and their way of eating. If you feel that a friend or loved one is interested in your diet but might feel awkward about asking or someone you really feel could benefit from a change in diet, think about giving them a book on the subject. That way they can read it in their own time. A good author on the subject is Dr. John McDougall; the first book I read on the subject of diet and health was by Dr. McDougall with the title of12 Days to Dynamic Health.
You can start your own blog and write all about your new vegetarian diet and why you changed and how it makes you feel. A blog is the perfect place to preach if you want to tell the world. Sitting across the table at lunch or dinner with someone is usually not the right place. It is easy to get carried away, so always remember your vegetarian etiquette.
© 2009 Sam Montana
Great two-fold advice Sam! Yes, a vegetarian diet is awesome. I (and my doctor) credit not having to be on cholesterol meds like the rest of the men in my family to my 16 years of vegetarianism. I used to run around telling everyone " you go to Hell for eating meat" So I didn't sound too harsh, I would admit how much I would miss them in Heaven...he he he... I'm sure everyone knew I was spoofing exactly what you are talking about in this article. Some people turn into vegi-nazis...As a matter of fact there is an urban legend that says Hitler was a vegetarian. Seriously, I made a rule when I became a vegetarian, that if someone offered me meat, without knowing I was a vegetarian, I wouldn't refuse it. This only happened about three or four times in 16 years. Right! It's rude to "yuk" someone else's "yum" but don't be afraid to politely promote the vegetarian cause!
Angelique, I still miss my old diet in some ways, not just how it made me feel. I never thought about it much, but some meat-eaters do get offended by vegetarians. I mainly see that in online newsgroups. Never knew why though, they were the ones eating steak :) Kevin, there have been many famous and not so famous vegetarians. I have been strict and not so strict as a vegetarian for 19 years now and learned a lot in those years. I can sympathize with non-vegetarians trying to plan any party where food is going to be served these days. There are so many categories of vegetarian anymore it has to drive people crazy. I’ve heard questions like, are you the type of vegetarian who eats eggs but not ice cream, or do you eat fish and not meat. The categories can go really go on. That’s great you don’t have to take the meds for the high cholesterol that runs in your family. I recently read a statistic that the average American takes six different prescription drugs in any one year. That surprised me, and that is a lot, a change of diet for some people would reduce the need for many of those prescriptions. I grew up eating meat; some in my family were in the cattle business. BBQing was the normal, so in some ways I miss that.
I am afraid I cannot give up my meat though
[...] Vegetarian Etiquette: how not to be a rude vegetarian factoidz.com/vegetarian-etiquette-how-not-to-be-a-rude-vegetarian – view page – cached How to enjoy your new vegetarian way of eating and knowledge without being annoying. Be careful of who you call unhealthy because of their diet. How you can discuss being a vegetarian without preaching. — From the page [...]
Yes I agree with this completely. I became a pesketarian (similar to vegetarian but includes fish and shellfish) after I did a research project called Feeding the world in Biology when I was 17. Our solution to feeding the world was not eating meat and our research veered into ethics and you all probably know how this continues... However, despite this shocking wave of knowledge that had slammed me I kept it to myself.The only time I busted out bits of disturbing knowledge was when my immediate family and relatives gave me a hard time about not eating meat. I am 24 now and my lifestyle choice is still viewed as an inconvenience by my family. IF someone is browbeating you about choosing not to eat meat let them have it! Otherwise, keep it on the down low.
Hello Sam... I am not a vegetarian yet, I do consume a large amount of various vegetables, raw, cooked & from a juicer. Having grown up hunting and all, we enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, and also were taut how to survive from the spoils to be able to provide for our families. As much as I love red meat, I have cut down considerably. Do to acid reflux and possible (acidosis) and my recent awareness of the high acidity in red meat and its effects on the intestines, Becoming a pesketarian may be my next option. I too am going to miss Bar-B-Qs. Thanks again Sam.
I still get a little dizzy when I smell the neighbors BBQ, meaning I still miss it and to me it smells good some of the time. When I first started being a vegetarian, it was because I was tired of the way I felt. Mainly my knees would hurt terribly when I woke up or had to do any kneeling. Thats when I read Dr. McDougalls book. The meat that hunters get, or the honest grass-fed beef or buffalo you can buy is much different and better than the normal grocery store feedlot beef. I wrote an article here about grass-fed beef. Keeping a notebook of what you eat and if that meal made you feel bad the next day could help you determine what foods do bother you. As for acidity, our bodies need to be more alkaline than acidic. There is a good book on that subject and it lists all foods and if they are more acidic or alkaline. Some foods will surprise you. The book is called "Alkalize or Die" by Theodore A. Baroody, Jr.
Thank you Sam for the advise, I'll have to check out those books you recommended. TY
Gad, my steaks :-) Interesting article though. I will do more exercises to compensate for my meat diet
Much-needed advice, Sam! While I can't comprehend why anyone would be offended by vegetarianism on principle, I do think some well-meaning but overzealous vegetarians and vegans turn people off to the veggie movement.
Great great article Sam. Even carnivores (much like myself) can be a bit rude when talking about our diet. So I will learn to be silent and let my words be few...on the subject of meat (or lack thereof) anyways.